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| My toe wiggle!! Can you see the blur??! |
Current Situation: cooling off my stump & eating enough food for 2 people
Mood: introspective
Word of the day to describe my splint: Pig in a blanket
Tunes: Yiruma - River Flows In You
Step 1 done! Surgery went well, only tricky part was the nurse had to poke me 3 times in order to get the iv running. All the nurses and anesthesiologists were so nice to me. They all were very curious about how I injured myself jumping rope. I heard a lot of "Oh you're the jump rope girl!" ""Oh I read your chart and was wondering about that!" "How exactly does that work? Jump rope?" The anesthesiologists that worked with me during my surgery were singing Double Dutch Bus by Frankie Smith as we wheeled into the surgery room - hilarious.
My leg was nice and numb yesterday, so I had a full nights slumber with no pain! I restfully woke up at around 5:15 this morning, was wide awake, and still unable to wiggle my toes. It was a little uncomfortable, and I thought the nerve block was supposed to wear off by the morning; so I thought maybe if did some bicycle motions in the air with my leg that I could get the "blood flowing" and some feeling back in my leg. That kinda helped. Then I tried really hard to wiggle my toes and I got some cramp-y tingly sensation in my leg. I thought to myself, "Woohoo! Sensation!" So I decided to do 3 sets of 10 of attempted toe wiggles. I took my pain meds, iced, got sleepy, and fell asleep to the live feed of the World Jump Rope Tournament going on in DC. That kept me pretty busy today in between eating, resting, and icing - that is until the pain set in.
At around noon I was able to wiggle my toes, but still couldn't feel the rest of my leg. I had a feeling once I did have my sensation back it'd be a little painful. So I made sure I iced, ate, and took my meds. But, even with the meds, it started as pins and needles and then just pain. I guess it's about time I felt some pain with this injury. It feels like a real injury now. haha. So I upped my med dosage since I was taking the minimum, and found only one position to be comfortable. I feel like the princess and the pea with the amount of pillows I have on this bed.
Alas, it's been a good week filled with many encouraging messages and little notes from friends and family. Heck, it's been a great month filled with good people and good memories. Well, despite the burn out and blown out Achilles, it really has been a good month.
I can't help, but think about the almost unparalleled value of the human connection. Without it, I'm not quite sure how functional anyone would be. This Ted talk was introduced to me about a year ago and has definitely put things in a different perspective for me. I've watched it like a million times and every time I feel like I've learned something new. Maybe I'm just bad at listening so I'm unable to absorb all that it has to offer in just 2 sittings. Maybe I'm just ADD and can't focus for more than 2 minutes on something. Maybe I'm just not good at reading or following lectures. But, I'm telling you, I'm pretty sure this Ted Talk is dense with a beautifully voiced perspective on life. Watch it. Watch part of it. Watch it again if you've watched it before. Or don't watch it. At least you've gotten this far in my blog post :)
I know it's quite a long video...but it's only 20 minutes of your time! I have finally been able to look at the transcript (because I'm such a visual learner) and really take a look at the content of Brené Brown's discussion - The Power of Vulnerability. And I've had this draft open for a couple of days and had taken notes on all the key points that I liked from her lecture, but I just couldn't figure out how I wanted to discuss all these concepts in my own voice. I've decided that I'm going to make this a 2 part post, otherwise I might loose you in my thoughts :) I encourage you to take a look at this video and sit on it for a little while. Then I will share with you part of my story and how I think some of Brené's concepts resonate within my own life. Or don't take a look at this video and just read what I have to share in my next post. The choice is yours :)
Stay tuned for part deux!
M
i hope your lil toes are wiggling freely by now? but then again, don't rush anything. your body will heal up nicely. you're still young.
ReplyDeletefinally got around to listening to this Ted talk on my second read...
they believe they're worthy of love and belonging. worthy of connection. worthy of whatever.
compassion to be kind to yourself and to others.
willing to let go
embrace vulnerability. vulnerability is a birthplace of joy, creativity, and love! how amazing is that?
that numbing part was enlightening... she presents the idea well from one point to the next.
every person i meet with, i feel i put myself out there to be vulnerable by exposing my true self. some might call it foolishness, i call it genuine. i've had to learn to choose who i be vulnerable with, since a lot of people don't feel the same way. perhaps they need to see this video?
i am grateful to feel this vulnerable, because that feeling is to feel alive. i agree with that notion 100%. it feels human when we are vulnerable. we're not robots. we have emotions. and we can't numb emotions, like she said. it's really interesting how she concludes it with the idea that "i am just enough."
i can go on and on, but i have to get back to studying... lol
i can't wait for your next post... much love and aloha!!